Sometime during the first minute of this week’s episode of Work of Art, my TV’s closed captioning simply said: “[All groaning]”. That’s a fitting reaction to most of the episode.
No two ways about it: this week was incredibly boring. The challenge (work with kids) was unoriginal, the guest judge (producer Sarah Jessica Parker) was a punt, and the elimination (Tewz) was overdue. There was crying, but no tits. In light of this, we’ll stick to a few general observations:
- Seriously, they’re eliminating people in height order. Ugo is at least six feet, because that’s how tall men are in generic female fantasies, and he left in the first episode. Kathryn, the second elimination, doomed herself: she’s marginally girl-tall, but she kept wearingenormous heels. In the double elimination, Leon (~5’11″) and Jazz-minh (~5’10″) each had an easy two inches on the next-tallest boy and girl, respectively. Tewz, Bayete, and Dusty are all roughly the same height, and of those, Tewz is already gone; meanwhile, Bayete has had an erratic run on the show, and Dusty’s luck in this week’s challenge - he’s a schoolteacher, the challenge was to work with kids – was pointedly not enough to earn immunity next week. What is the meaning of this? It should be noted that both the executive producer of the show – Sarah Jessica Parker – and the principal judge – Jerry Saltz – are short. Is there an agenda at work?
- Sara Jimenez’s kid, in this week’s challenge, has a quilt-like collage of words she loves. On it, written out over brightly-colored washes, are “Pirates”, “Bunny”, “Hope”, “Bacon”, “Pirates” again, and, right at the center, “Offended”.
- Lola’s “my mom dated Al Pacino for ten years” backstory, as recounted in this week’s episode, was no surprise to diligent AFC readers because we broke that shit.
- Not one person in the house seems to have noticed, over the course of four episodes, that Tewz’s name is misspelled on their blackboard. I think he missed his chance to say something about that.
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